Tuesday, December 30, 2008

MATHEMATICS FOR EVERYONE!!!

Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
===================================================
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
====================================================
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
=====================================================
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

PUT YOUR CAR KEYS BESIDE YOUR BED AT NIGHT
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents your Dr, your office, the check-out girl at the supermarket, everyone you meet.


Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.
This tip came from a neighborhood-watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:


It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around...

After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there ....
This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is fantastic.


Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. A lady has suggested to her husband that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem.

Please pass this on even IF you've read it before. It's a reminder.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Adult Jokes 1

A Primary school boy back,excitedly,said :"mom,today i just have had sex with my tutor!"
Feeling anger & ashamed,mom said :"How could you....?!Kneel before the god & think about what you have done today!!I am going to tell your dad of this!"

Later,dad went to his son after his wife told him what had happened,
"Hey son...you know what,daddy had his first sex since secondary school.Boy am i so proud of myself,but son....you have it even earlier than i do,ya da man son!"
Son:"huh...?"
Dad:"for this i decided to reward you."

The next day,the boy's dad bought a new bicycle to him.
Dad:"Hey son,here's the present for you!....Why don't you wanna get a ride on it....?"
son:"No,thanks dad....my arse is still in pain...."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bukit Aman's Malaysia Control Centre (MCC), Phones: 03-22627555/03-22626555


I used these MCC several times in the past and I find them very useful during emergencies.
Police cars just came in from different directions within minutes !
Key in these hotline numbers (03-22627555/03-22626555)into your mobile phone. They may save your life..

Those are the numbers for Bukit Aman's Malaysia Control Centre (MCC), the call centre for all police emergencies. The police are urging Malaysians to have these numbers in their mobile phone. Bukit Aman Public Relations Superintendent, Mohamad Daud said  motorists may help prevent cases like the recent murder of assistant computer engineer Mohamad Nazri Ismail..

He added that even after the crime has occurred, the police could go to the crime scene in the shortest possible time and it may result in the capture of those responsible.

An MCC spokesman said the public from any parts of Malaysia can call the centre to report an emergency anytime. 'We will direct the call to the nearest police station for the officers there to handle the matter,' said the spokesman.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

IF you're forced to press your ATM.....HOW??

JUST SOME GOOD INFORMATION......

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM
machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse.

For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM
recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed
in the machine.

The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the
robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.
This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it's
seldom used because people don't know it exists..
Please pass this along to everyone possible.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

爱情投资学么?

愛情與經濟學看似兩種不相干甚至互斥的事物,然而其實愛情也是一種投資,也需要盤算計較,有人賺到終身幸福,有人賠到痛不欲生。美國著名經濟學家、政經評論家、電視節目主持人班.史坦(Ben Stein)在紐約時報撰文,道出其中奧祕:
 我在紐約哥倫比亞大學的經濟學老師哈里斯告訴學生:經濟學就是研究如何分配稀有商品與勞務的一門學問。這世上還有什麼比愛情更稀有珍貴?愛情不僅稀有、 難得,而且往往相當脆弱。我這輩子主修的學問其實是愛情,其次才是經濟學。因此本文要融合這兩個領域,提出「愛情經濟學」(the economics of love)的運作規則。

 投資與收益

 一般而言,愛情收益與你投資的時間和心力大致上成正比。如果你投入的是關懷、耐心與無私,那麼你也會得到這三種收益。當然,愛情不能是一廂情願的苦戀,對方也必須愛你。

 優質投資對象

 在債券市場上,有人堅信垃圾債券是發大財的終南捷徑。其實不然,高信用品質債券的殖利率總是高於垃圾債券。愛情亦復如是,你必須投資優質的對象,找到了就長期持有,一旦變質趕快脫手。垃圾愛情或許像垃圾債券一樣金玉其外,然而垃圾終究是垃圾。

 下工夫作研究

 想靠投資賺錢就得好好做功課,想擁有美好愛情不能指望運氣,尤其切記不要只注重外表,光鮮亮麗的誘惑可能潛藏危機陷阱。對大多數人而言,愛情不太可能分散投資,因此我們在選定對象之前,一定要下一番研究工夫。

 壟斷才是王道

 獨門生意想不賺錢也難,長期的感情關係也應該從一而終,不能心懷貳志。如果你的愛情被第三者分一杯羹,如果競爭者威脅已經出現,那麼還是做個了斷吧。

 衡量成本收益

 愛情的投資要精打細算,虧本生意做不得也。投資一段時間之後,如果收益還是不敷成本,建議你考慮認賠殺出。

 需作長期投資

 但是,成功的愛情投資也需要長遠的眼光。以股市為喻,做當日沖銷的炒家如果沒有內幕消息或者操控市場的能耐,殺進殺出的結果恐怕是丟盔棄甲。回到愛情領域,短暫的天雷勾動地火固然刺激,終究不如細水長流的兩相廝守。

 避免不切實際

 保持務實心態非常重要。如果你的期望太不切實際,失望落空的風險自然居高不下。就算撿到天上掉下來的禮物,只怕包裝紙拆掉之後,你會消受不了。

 要珍惜眼前人

 如果你已經擁有美好的情感關係,一定要好好珍惜,不要見異思遷。好不容易找到績優股,當然不應該賣。

 養狗貓有寄託

 養幾隻貓貓狗狗,生活樂趣無窮,讓我們更能夠面對人生的逆境,享受不虞匱乏的情感滋潤。

 富蘭克林說的好:「世上只有三位最忠實的朋友﹔老妻,老狗和現金。」




面對愛情要像投資股票一樣:
暗戀 → 把握消息面
追求 → 迅速買進
熱戀 → 加碼進場
苦戀 → 把持資本
失戀 → 轉買基金
一夜情 → 當日沖銷
一見鍾情 → 順勢操作
發現不合 → 要當即拋售
屢戰屢敗 → 還是去存定存吧…

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Can i buy you an hour time?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room a! nd opene d the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.


It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.


If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

New Saman Rates

BIL

JENIS

KADAR KOMPAUN LAMA

KADAR KOMPAUN BARU

KESALAHAN

KENDERAAN

1.

KEMALANGAN
(TIDAK MELIBATKAN KES NC)

LORI / BAS /
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 300
RM 300
RM 300

RM 200
RM 150
RM 100

2.

PANDU LAJU

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 150
RM 150
RM 150

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50

3.

TIDAK PAKAI TALIPINGGAN KELEDAR

TEKSI
VAN
4WD / KERETA

RM 150
RM 80
RM 70

RM 50
RM 50
RM 50

4.

KESALAHAN YANG TIDAK BOLEH DI KOMPAUN

SEMUA KESALAHAN TIDAK BOLEH DIKOMPAUN MENGIKUT KAEDAH-KAEDAH PENGANGKUTAN JALAN (PENGOMPAUN KESALAHAN) 2003 CTH: KEMALANGAN MAUT, MEMANDU DALAM KEADAAN MABUK, PEMANDU DI BAWAH UMUR TANPA LESEN, MEMANDU DENGAN CUAI DAN MERBAHAYA, TIADA PERLINDUNGAN INSURAN, LUMBA HARAM.

NO COMPOUND
(NC)

NO COMPOUND
(NC)

5.

TIDAK PAKAI TOPI KELEDAR

MOTOSIKAL

RM 70

RM 30

6.

TIDAK BOLEH BUAT PUSINGAN 'U'

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 100
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50

7.

POTONG CARA BAHAYA - POTONG 'Q'

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 100
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50

8.

MENERUSKAN PERJALANAN SEMASA ISYARAT LAMPU MERAH

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 200
RM 150

RM 200
RM 150
RM 100

9.

MEMANDU GUNA TELEFON BIMBIT/ALAT KOMUNIKASI

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 100
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50

10.

TIDAK BERI LALUAN SEBELUM MEMBELOK

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 100
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50


11.


KESALAHAN LESEN MEMANDU


LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL


RM 150
RM 80
RM 70


RM 90
RM 70
RM 30

12.

KESALAHAN LESEN KENDERAAN MOTOR (ROAD TAX)

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 150
RM 80
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 30

13.

MEMANDU DI LORONG KECEMASAN

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 200
RM 100
RM 70

RM 90
RM 70
RM 50

14.

KES WARAN

LORI/ BAS/
4WD / TEKSI / VAN / KERETA
MOTOSIKAL

RM 300
RM 300
RM 300

SEKALI GANDA DARI HARGA TAWARAN TETAPI TIDAK MELEBIHI RM 300

Above are the latest Traffic offense saman rates which we should be aware of.

So that next time we won't be ask for "extra coffee money" whenever we so lucky to met one of the traffic police.

Have a wonderful day!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Carrot,Egg & Coffee Bean,which one are you?

It has been a while i didn't blog here because i have been busy managing my own things like working, holiday-ing & etc.

On 23-26 Oct 2008, i am having my company trip at Club Med,Cherating Beach.
I will tell you more about the trip details on my next post.

During my last day staying at Club Med, our company members are actually having a small briefing,which where we sharing to one another about our feeling & evaluation of this trip.
Well,one of the story that i am remembered most is our most senior sales man,Mr.Kelvin Chai gor(Happy B'day to you Dude!),the title is "The carrot,egg & coffee bean"

Here's how the story goes:
There's a girl who just graduated from her Honors degree,now she is working at a small company.
Everyday after work she will come back home & complaint to her father that how suffering/stressful her job is,and with little pay....etc.
Then one day, without saying anything, her dad bring her to his kitchen. He take out a piece of carrot, an egg & some coffee beans & 3 pots filled with water.
He then boiled the water & throw the 3 foods in their respective boiled water.
His daughter,tired of waiting,asked "Dad,i am complaining about my job,why do you bring me here?What you trying to say actually?"
A few minutes later, all the 3 foods are cooked. He asked her daughter:
"Now try to taste each of these foods and then tell me how do u think about it."
Reluctantly,the girl taste the carrots, eggs & coffee.
"Well,how was it?"Her dad asked.
"hmm.....the carrot is so soft....."
"Then?"
"The hard boiled egg is tasty too....."
"The coffee's smell is unique,and it tastes delicious too."
The girl's dad asked:"So now can you see what i'm trying to tell you?"
Wagging her head,said "i do not know."

Her dad said:
The carrots,eggs & coffee bean represents 3 responses of the 3 person, & the boiled water shows that the 3 person are facing the same problem,which is a pot of boiled water.
The first type of people,they look tough at first, but eventually will turn to as soft as a cooked carrot when facing problems.

The second type of response,they look soft like a raw egg at first,easy to break it.But they will become as tough as they can when facing challenges,just like a hard boiled egg.

The third type of people,which is coffee bean.When boiled,it will dissolve into the water & turn water's color to brown,and produces a good smell which is only available on a cup of coffee.

So can you guys see how does a "coffee bean" reacts when facing pot of boiled water?
The same goes for us human,
whenever we're facing challenges/barrier,we should learn to be like a coffee bean,getting "fit" to the situation,then use your very own potential to "fit" into your problems/challenges,create your very own spark among the others.

So,which one you want to be?A carrot?An egg?Or coffee beans?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Pregnant

A twenty-one-year- old gilr tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months.Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a test kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know !' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them.
'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll provide support.'

'If a girl is born. I will baqueath her two supermarket stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $ 1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couples of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest i do ?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, place a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'Then you try again.'

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ordinary yet Touching

5 Sept 2008....

This seem to be an ordinary working day of mine.....
But yet, something inspirational & touching had happened to me....

This is a story i heard from my fren(Don't have to know who he is!)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Just as i am busy doing my routine work then i heard my name was summoned:
"Hey you!can you pls come here for a while?"

Omg....i must have done something wrong again.....kena marah lagi.....?

Her:"I have been waiting for you to ask me about it....."
Me:"huh?what of it?"
Her:"Are u really having some financial troubles lately....?"
Me:"....."
Her:"Why not u tell me?Since you will only get your pay on next monday....."
Me:"erm...yeah....."
Her:"Bear in mind that you are no longer a small kid,u not only have to plan to save more $$ in the future, but you also have a girl friend....."
Me:....
Her:Since the day you step on the "University of Social", you are no longer bear the responsibilities of yourself anymore.....but to your family,your country, or your girl friend!
Me:i.....er.....
Her: Do you know that once you have a girl friend,u must bear the responsibility of raising her, although she also can work on her own.It's a responsibility as a man!
Me: I understand.....
Her: So do you need me to borrow you some money?
Me:....what....?
Her: ok....RM500?
Me: erm....please.....not so much....i think RM100 is enough.....
Her: hmm......ok,how about RM300?
Me:......it's ok gua....
Her:Ok,deal!But you must return them to me when you get your paid,promise?
Me:OF COURSE!THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ok,so some u might think that this is just a normal story nia....
Some(or most)of you think that this "me" & "her" relationship is probably a mother & son,or a friendship,correct?
Right you are,but let me explain something here.....
What if we change a bit the character?

That "her" is actually an employer of "me"!
So what do you think the guy should do to repay his boss back?

That's all,make it a wonderful day!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My First Home-Made Herbal soup

The date was 3/9/08...

Herbal Soup(1-2 serving)
Ingredients:

3xChicken Wings(Don't ask me why!Because the time i reached Carrefour that's what it left!)
Water 1 litre
A packet of Herbal consist of Yuk Zhu(玉竹),Ginseng,Gan Cao(甘草),Gei ji....etc
Soya Sauce 1-2 tablespoon

Steps:

1. Wash the chicken wings b4 it's ready for boiling the soup(A very common knowledge oh....)
2. Wash all the herbals b4 u put them into the periuk....
3. "Throw"(At here don't really means throw)all the ingredients into the periuk....
4.Pour in some water(Can be adjusted depends on the size of periuk)
5.Turn on the fire to maximum power.
6.When the water is boiled,turn them to small fire and let it to cooked slowly.....
7.Pls be sure that u have switch off ur stove b4 u go to work/class, i do not wish to create another kemalangan oh....

There you GO!
The soup is served after it's cooked for about 5-10 hours.....

Comments:
Do u think that steps 5-7 is kinda tedious?
No one is gonna be so free to watch the fire,right?
Ok,my suggestion:
Spend another RM175 to buy a slow cooker where u can turn the level to "Auto-shift"
So that it can shift the firepower depending on the food's temperature

So do i consider cheating?
Nop of course!Just a bit smart that's all......haha

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Learning to Forgive


Throughout our life we have been taught learn to forgive other people's mistakes,for their only human.

But have we ever think of we are human too?

It's easy for us to forgive other ppl's mistakes,but yet it seems like its so very hard for us to forgive ourself for mistakes we made....

Yep,i am one of those human too.....

Each time i made a mistake i try to remember what my mistake is & remind myself not to repeat any again.

But hell i was so wrong!

The more i try to tell "not to repeat the same mistakes",the more likely i would still them again & again.

Well,why is that so?

After reading from some books i learned that when i m telling myself "pls do not repeat this mistake again",so unconciously i m actually telling myself i would still repeat the same mistakes again.

For example,i tell myself "do not ever panic during exam".Eventually i would still panic during my final year,which is not good at all.Therefore,this "do not ever panic during exam" actually reminds myself unconciously that i would still panic at exam,jz like a black magic curse!!

Then i will keep on feeling guilty & guilty,& not knowing what to do since the feeling is already overcome by guilty....

Then indirectly this feeling will guide me to a situation which is full of pressure,aching my shoulder bones,emotional+negative thinking.....etc.

At last,i know that i m easy to forgive what my friends had done to me,even the person i love most.But i always failed to forgive upon my own mistakes.....

Man,i almost forgot that i am still a human!

Pray tell me,which human never made mistakes one?

So do i!

Not only must i learn from my mistakes,but i hv to learn to how to forgive myself too,to further prove that i m still a human who live on Earth.

Finally,i dun have to keep telling myself "pls DO NOT repeat xxx again".Instead i tell myself,"i CAN overcome xxxx"

That's the end for now.Do have a nice day all my dear friend.Learn to forgive yourself is one of the way to happiness!

真心剖白之:幽默版(My confession:humor version)

我虽然骑着白马,我曾经是你的骑士,守护你,爱护你,然而你却看不见;想告诉你,我不是唐三藏,因为我喜欢吃牛肉,喜欢喝1983年的红酒;因为....我要成为属于你的童话里的王子!!

Translation:
Although i am riding a white horse,i used to be your knight who protecting & loyal to you,but you don't seem to notice about it at all;I just wanna tell you,i am not Master Monk,because i love to take steak & wine on 1983;because......I want to be the prince of your fairy tale!!